One question I get asked often is if I’m single.
Quick question to any males reading this- do you get this question often too? Before I jump to conclusions I am curious if this is a one sided annoyance.
To be honest it’s a question I’m getting pretty sick of. I don't mean to be a cynic but what does it matter? Are you only interested in talking to me if I am available? Or does being in a relationship give me more credibility? Like oh someone likes me enough to date me so I must be ok. The other reason I am sick of it is because it makes it seems like being single is a bad thing. I love being single. I am constantly working and traveling. I do not have the time nor the desire to commit to a relationship right now.
Now, don't get me wrong I am not against anyone else who wants to be in a relationship. As one of my favorite bands once sang “I’m in love with love.”
I think love and relationships are a beautiful thing. I’ve loved and lost and am a much better person for it. “The world must be peopled. When I said I would die as a bachelor I did not think I would live until I was married” Yes, I was almost able to write that quote completely from memory. Shoutout to Shakespeare for fulling us hopeless romantics with a lifetime of quotes. I think there are times in our lives that love should be let it. For me, now is not one of those times.
Don't get me wrong I still will ball my eyes out during a Zedd's set when Clarity comes on.
I want to get one thing clear: I am in no way knocking down the idea of dating. I am however, stating that it is 110% ok to be single and not looking to date.
As someone who has been the 9th and 5th many of times, I am more than comfortable being solo. I have no problem being a single rider, slow dancing with myself, or dining alone. I love to go to the beach alone and read a book. I am pretty fortunate that over the years I have crafted a pretty rad and loving relationship with myself.
Yes, there are many cliches about falling in love with yourself and self-care but those exist because they work. I'll keep it simple: The easiest way to be happy is to learn how to love yourself. So go say some crazy affirmations in the mirror, take yourself on a date, go somewhere new alone, and find a way to love who you are because what you have it what you got.
If you are wondering where all this crazy shouting about loving yourself came from it's because I have recently been inspired by two wonderful poems:
Comes The Dawn
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye you learn.
Oh and would you look at that, my 2019 theme of endurance right there in towards the end! I love it when my posts work out that way.
So to answer the question, yes I am single and perfectly happy :)